Love your Inner Child (or Teenager) and your child (or Teenager) will heal too
Your children (and especially your teenagers) will show you your wounds just by living their lives.
As they encounter challenges it'll sometimes be as if you're right back there at the age they are now - reliving old nightmares, and all your stuff will emerge (and it's likely to feel uncomfortable and seem immature and petty)
You're going to be compelled to do whatever you can to avoid your child going through anything like what you went through-
to avoid them feeling-
alone
unloved
unlovable
unwanted
unlikable
ugly
unattractive
invisible
unseen
unacknowledged
incapable
below average
dumb
unintelligent
a failure
nothing special
unsuccessful
uncreative
not talented
not enough
too much
ostracised
scapegoated
vilified
bullied
or whatever you felt at their age.
But in that fear based (fight, flight or freeze) response, you'll be pushing them to be different in order to avoid pain and the message you'll be sending them is that they are not enough as they are.
Instead, flood your inner child (or inner teenager) with all the things she needed at that time.
Let her know-
you believe in her
you love her
you want her
you will never abandon her
you see her
you want to be with her
you accept her
you appreciate her
you embrace her
you see her beauty
you see her radiance
you see her fullness
you see her power
you see her brilliance
you see her intelligence
you see her wisdom
you see her uniqueness
you see her talents
you see her shine
you see her safe
you see her held and loved
and when you have given that child within you such a deep and full blast of love, when you can feel it oozing from every cell and particle in your body...
then turn it out and flood your child with all these same things too 